JOHN (narration): One day while doing my daily cycling, I stumbled upon an object that was so unusual. It seemed to be an object capable of unleashing great energy. It was an object that would change my life forever. According to the prophecy, the viewing of this entity would cause most to die, but some to achieve maximum strength, maximum intellect, and the ability to become the best human being possible. JOHN: OH MY GOD JOHN (narration): Taking the object, I opened it to find inside a disc that I could put into my computer and with the prophecy of the supreme being with a segway being true, my entire life had changed over the course of the next 1 hour and 31 minutes For a school project I needed to verify the Sci-Fi concept of a story, which can include a book, film, or game. After going through a list of sci-fi movies to find the advantages in covering them, my group and I came across the best sci-fi movie and movie of all time, Paul Blart Mall Cop. Kevin James, a man of great talents, stars as Paul Blart in Paul Blart: Mall Cop, wow. PAUL BLART: I BELIEVE IN MAM (glass shatters) Not every man gets to star in as many critically acclaimed films as Kevin George Knipfing James, a man who google thinks is a child. While writing puts the essence of ideas into words, I do believe that Paul Blart: Mall Cop cleverly uses the great elements of visual storytelling to communicate its amazing ideas. Every moment of the feature film is carefully coordinated and any frame can easily be hung in an art museum This movie is one that has stuck with me my whole life. It is an unforgettable cinematic experience (voice begins to fade into echoes of bla bla)
and is surely as good as Kevin James gets. Many of the scenes in “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” are so flawlessly constructed that you want them to just continue, and yet they create an emotional suction drawing you to the next scene, gluing your eyes (bla bla continues to overwhelm my voice)
to the cinematic marvel of film in front of you. To make a film like this is such a miracle. (the unending bla blas reverberate throughout John’s head, giving him absolute insanity, and they cause him to fall off of the bed) Sometimes, me and the Paul Blart: Mall Cop Blu Ray would spend lots of time together. We would play video games, ride the bike together, go on the slide, and go on the swings. JOHN: I can explain. JR: This movie is one that John thinks about a lot It is surely a memorable tale, but does its physics hold up to reality? JOHN: Are you questioning the authority of Paul Blart: Mall Cop? JR: OH CRAP! JR (narration): The idea of physics first started when Aristotle, a philosopher, wanted to test how objects reacted with each other and their motions, then, the 16th and 17th century came around with people like Galileo and started experimenting theories about the motions of objects and then they became physicists, after that, Sir Isaac Newton came and paved the way for using mathematics in Physics. B O N K w h a t g o e s u p m u s t c o m e d o w n m u s t c o m e d o w n
JOHN (narration): and now onto the story of Paul Blart: Mall Cop The film starts by showing our title character, Paul Blart, going through a trooper exam training course to become a New Jersey policeman, a lifelong ambition. He fails the test every year likely due to his medical condition, hypoglycemia, but he always comes close to finishing it every time. His condition forces him to have sugar every 20 minutes, or he will pass out. Paul Blart is a security guard at the fictional West Orange Pavilion Mall. Paul Blart is very lonely, as he lives only with his daughter and mother. They attempt to get Paul a girlfriend through online dating, which leads to him getting a weird crush on a worker at the mall. Nobody takes their job to protect the mall as seriously as Paul Blart, and there is a new trainee in the mall, Veck Simms. Paul shows the trainee around and when dealing with multiple mischievous shoppers, Veck begins to show expression of underestimation to Paul, as he fails in dealing with these situations. Paul begins making some moves on Amy and at one point lets her ride with him on his segway. Outside the mall, Amy invites Paul to a party place later with some fellow mall workers. At the party, Paul is defended by Veck, after Stuart, who is trying to get with Amy, begins to insult him. Along with the party, Paul accidentally gets drunk off a Margarita after trying to get water when the spice gets to him in a nacho eating competition. He trashes the party, embarrassing himself in front of Amy. Paul, feeling more lonely than ever, checks his dating status to reveal that he has no matches; his daughter reassures him that he will be ok. He apologizes to Amy at the mall and tells her how everybody “writes him off”, and he tries to keep her from doing that. still, in a bad mood, he goes to the mall arcade to feel better, but as he does this, an extensive robbery on the mall is taking place. Amy, Stuart, Veck, and others are taken hostage. Veck is revealed to be part of the robbery, as the leader. The setting of the movie being in the mall starts to take importance, as you can see many different product placements of brands JOHN: Oh yay! I get to eat some Dunkin Donuts now.
essentially acting as advertisements. JOHN: Oh yay! I get to eat some Dunkin Donuts now. (indistinct chatter) Who would think that Dunkin Donuts sells donuts? Oblivious to the robbery, Paul stumbles upon two of the robbers, and they chase him away. With the police at the mall, Paul escapes; he sees Amy’s car outside and realizes that she is likely still in the mall. Against the cops’ request for him to leave the mall, Paul goes back in to protect it, yet there is a present danger for Paul, as the criminals know that he is there. BLITZEN: It’s a security guard. CUPID: What should we do? VECK: I don’t know. Give up, I guess. Discovered by more of the thieves, Paul takes off and knocks one of them out. The SWAT team led by SWAT Commander James Kent, a former bully of Paul, delays its breach of the mall since Paul is inside. As the story progresses, Paul gains more information on the robbery and the hostages being held. Blart takes care of the criminals in various methods. Paul’s daughter, when trying to get lunch for her father at the mall, is also taken hostage at the mall. Having known that one of the hostages is Paul’s daughter through his online dating profile, Veck takes Amy and Paul’s daughter away and to a plane off to the Cayman Islands. Paul drives a car with commander James Kent to the plane to get Amy and his daughter back; he arrives and wins in a fight against Veck. Commander Kent congratulates him at first but then, is revealed to be a double agent, as he pulls a gun on him. The police shoot the gun out of his hands, and Paul becomes a hero. The sun rises and Paul Blart is successful in protecting the mall, saving his daughter, and Amy; things have finally worked out for him in the end. The underlying story of Paul Blart: Mall Cop is quite sad; the protagonist, misunderstood by almost everyone around him, only wants to keep the public safe, while trying to get with a girl who he believes he has no chances with. He finally receives understanding and protection from someone, to only be betrayed by them in the end JR (narration): First thing we’re going to go over is when Paul Blart is inside the air duct and causes part of the air duct to fall down, knocking out one of the robbers; using the interviews, we could find that at the time of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Kevin James would have been 300 pounds, which equates to 136 kilograms. As the air duct isn’t insulated, the mass is likely to be 115 kilograms, combining with the mass of Paul Blart, 136 kilograms, the mass that the robber is hit with is 251 kilograms, so then we calculate that the acceleration is 7.92 m/s² through the equation *Δx=vᵢt + 1/2 at² the acceleration 7.92 m/s², which can then be plugged into the equation, f=ma, from Newton’s second law, is 1988 Newtons. No human can stay conscious upon being hit by 1988 Newtons of force, so this would be accurate PAUL BLART: I put all my weight on her. JR (narration): The second Physics scene we’re going to go over is when Paul Blart jumps from one roof to the other with his segway, so Paul Blart is 5’8” which can be converted to 1.73 meters. We can observe that Paul Blart jumps three Paul Blarts horizontally, which is 5.19 meters. In the movie we can see that Paul Blart takes 0.5959 seconds to jump these lengths. From this, Paul Blart would need to be traveling at a speed of 19.4545 miles per hour by dividing 5.19 meters by 0.5959 seconds and converting it into miles per hour, but the max speed of a segway is 12.4 miles per hour, so this scene would actually turn out like this. PAUL BLART: YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH (explosion) (explosion) JR (narration): The third scene we are going to go over is when Paul Blart headbutts the robber in the ball pit. Using the average length of a human head, which is 0.214 meters, Paul Blart’s head is around 0.428 meters from the robbers forehead, and Paul Blart takes around 0.21 seconds to headbutt the robber, so dividing 0.428 meters by 0.21 seconds, that gets us a speed of 2.04 m/s, and then, we would get the acceleration, which is 19 m/s². The average mass of a human head is 5 kilograms, and so multiplying 19 m/s² by 5 kg, that would be 145 Newtons of Force to the head; usually, 145 Newtons wouldn’t do anything to your head, and the way Paul Blart headbutts the robber PAUL BLART: Nobody wins with a headbutt.
would hurt himself more than the robber. The fourth scene we’re going to go over is when Paul Blart tries to pick up Leon with a rope from the ceiling. Leon’s mass is 198 kilograms, and using the force of gravity equation, which is mass times the acceleration of gravity, which is 9.8m/s², we can see that the force of gravity is 1940.4 Newtons. As the force of gravity is equal to the force of tension, we can see that it would surely be more than considerably hard for Blart to pull up Leon, a 427 pound man. LEON: Told you, boy.
a 427 pound man. You better hurry up. JR (narration): Through the voyage of Paul Blart, the protagonist, the hero, and the devoteful mall cop, we can see a man who people underestimate overcome his fears and fight for what’s right, and for the ones that he cares about. If that isn’t a good protagonist, then I don’t know what is. (laughing from behind the camera) MOM: OK, turn it off. Now, you need water, guys. Gee, oh, he has water here. (intense breathing from John and JR) GEEEE IT’S STILL RECORDING! JOHN: Oh, JR. JR: What? (more laughing from behind the camera) MOM: OK, good luck! JOHN: That was
MOM: OK, good luck! fun. JR: No, it wasn’t. (grunt) JOHN: Really? JR: You mean the running? No. JOHN: Do you think you’ll be fine when you get home? JR: Yeah. JOHN: Do you think it’s worth it? JR: I gue-, yeah JR: if we get a good grade, yeah. JOHN: Is the grade that-? is that all that matters? JR: Huh, no. JOHN: Exactly (cough) JR: OK, let’s go.
JOHN: We got the dub. MOM: Of course not, hahaha. JOHN: Wait, what time is it? (C O U G H) JR: Huh? uhhhh? JOHN: Wow, that was very good. I must say, I’m thoroughly impressed by that meal. (indistinct chatter on the physical aspect of Paul Blart) (P A U L B L A R T W A V E) (THE VOID OF B L A R T I S M) (THE UNFATHOMABLE NATURE OF PAUL BLART) (BLA BLA BLA BLA) (PAUL BLA BLART BLA) JR: PAUL BLART P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T P A U L B L A R T paulblart paul blart ʇɹɐlq lnɐd PAUL BLART (≠ BAB) (more indistinct chatter) JR ARMY: (all at once) PAUL BLART (even more indistinct chatter) (neck snap) (loud screaming over the intercom) VECK: Uh, Blart? (INTENSE PAIN) THERE IS A YOUTUBER IN LEGO CITY. PRESS THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON. HEY!!! YOU CAN BUILD THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON, LIKE ALL OF THE YOUTUBER’S VIDEOS, AND MAKE HIM MONEY. THE NEW YOUTUBER COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY. Baseplates and background models not included. Each set sold separately.